Hello world! As you can tell with the title, I'm officially done with my first year of college. My room is in a total state of disaster right now with boxes and stuff just sitting everywhere (but it's better than yesterday...) This post probably won't go up today (5/18) but I still wanted to sit down and write something before everything is officially over.

The first thought that comes to mind when reflecting upon this past school year is that college isn't what I thought it would be. Maybe I watch too many movies or read too many books but I was really surprised by everything. It wasn't that I had a ton of expectations coming to college, but the things I experienced around me just weren't what I thought I would find.

My college doesn't fit the stereotypical mold that people have when they think about "college" and it's partially because I go to a Christian college where faith and education are very intertwined (future post idea?) in every day life. One of the biggest things I learned that crushed a stereotype I had for my college is that just because it's a Christian institution, doesn't make it any different than other colleges.

In terms of the "college experience," I think I probably missed out on a lot of things because I was so anxious about everything that I ended up spending most of my time in my room. I went to a couple events, but only if I knew certain people I was comfortable with would be there. The only extra-curricular activity I did was Women's Choir and that's technically a requirement for my major.

I don't know if I would do things differently next year because I enjoyed being alone sometimes despite the many waves of loneliness that hit throughout the year. One thing that will definitely change is that I'll have a roommate next year. I did have one at the beginning of this school year, but she ended up leaving for medical reasons and I had a single for pretty much the whole year. It's definitely going to be a learning experience, but the good thing is that I know my future roommate from class so we're not complete strangers. (wow...how many times can I say "year" in this paragraph)

I'll probably do a whole post talking about homesickness because was honestly the biggest struggle for me this year, but to touch on the subject lightly, homesickness sucks. I had trouble considering college to be my home and it's really just a mentality thing. There were several times where I caught myself when I said "I'll message you when I get home" and I was referring to my dorm. It's weird how sad I felt by those words and how I felt the need to correct myself time. 

Either way, now that everything is packed, I can say that I have at least a small sense of home because for the past nine months, this tiny room has been my little hiding place. The pictures that I've been including are just shots around campus that I've randomly taken and what I've realized is that my campus is really beautiful despite it being small and somewhat insignificant sometimes. I joke with my visiting friends that my college is 50% nature which true (not the exact percentage) but all that nature has been pretty great to watch throughout the months because it's just one small snapshot of how amazing creation is.

Sorry if it's getting so long, but I wanted to wrap things up on some of the good that came out of this year. College is challenging and anybody who says that it's easy is either lying or ridiculously smart. With that being said, college is really the place where you create true and meaningful relationships. I may not have a ton of friends and have a super packed social schedule (I can't, I'm a music major...) but I know that I've made at least a handful of friendships that will last and that's all that matters.

One of the additional blessings I've had this year is to strengthen the friendships I made in high school. I was so worried that I would lose the closeness I experienced from my "squad" and while I didn't keep in contact with some of them and definitely drifted apart, I grew stronger with others and watched how everyone grew up which was pretty cool even though I was honestly scared at times.

Despite all the negativity that my brain is feeding me all the time regarding the bajillion things I need to worry about with college, I've honestly been so blessed this past year. I've grown in just about every aspect of my life and even if some parts weren't significantly changed, I still have three years to experience everything that college has to offer.